🚐 We Bought a Camper… Now What?

Our first big trip in the new camper is in the books! We clocked 1,518 miles in total—most of them towing that big ol’ fifth wheel, which Rick handled like a pro. Out of those miles, 1,161 were with the trailer hitched up. The truck averaged 16 miles per gallon, and I swear Rick’s been grinning about that ever since. He’s now officially in love with this diesel.

We rolled out Monday, May 19th, with no real plan for where to sleep that night—just a reservation in Yellowstone starting the next day. So, we did what retired folks with a tank full of fuel and a brand-new camper do: winged it.

Now, this was my first time riding in a truck pulling a fifth wheel, so I was part thrilled, part white-knuckled. And it didn’t take long to spice things up—somewhere in the Swan, a deer darted across the road right in front of us. I about swallowed my tongue. Ever tried to slam on the brakes with a 40-foot trailer behind you? Yeah, don’t.

Luckily, we didn’t hit Bambi, and I like to think he turned around, gave us a sarcastic wave, and bounded off into the trees like, “Welcome to the wilderness, folks!”

🐾 Next wildlife sighting? A full herd of elk crossing the road in Ovando. We were far enough back that it wasn’t an issue... until the car behind us decided to pass.

They whipped around us like they were in the Indy 500, only to find themselves staring down an entire elk family reunion. I imagine the driver thought, “Great. I finally pass the slowpokes, and now I’m leading the Elk Parade.” Thankfully, no elk—or egos—were harmed.

Rick, bless him, is a fabulous driver. There were no more close calls, and we got to enjoy Montana’s scenery in peace. Even though I’ve been down that road a hundred times, I stayed wide awake. Not because I wanted to keep Rick company or anything... purely for the views. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

We didn’t have a place booked for that first night, so I pulled out my trusty phone and asked Google what our parents used to ask strangers: “Know any good places to camp?” Turns out, Google delivered. I rattled off a name, and Rick, being the local navigator, knew exactly where to go.

We landed a quiet riverside spot with no fee, easy access, and a stunning view. Only problem? I discovered boondocking isn’t exactly CPAP-friendly. I brought a battery for my machine, but it sputtered out around 3 a.m. I didn’t die (obviously), but let me tell you, sleeping without that thing on my face felt downright illegal. I’ll be troubleshooting that little hiccup before the next trip.

By 6:30 a.m., I was wide awake, and by 8, we were back on the road—rolling into West Yellowstone for breakfast. Not sure if it was too early in the season or just too early in the morning, but there was only one place open. It was good though—especially the coffee. Priorities.

☕ Vacation theme? Driving. And driving. Oh, and a little more driving.

And then came Yellowstone. Our first day in the park greeted us with snow—yep, snow in May! Big fluffy flakes started falling as we pulled in, and the next morning we woke to an inch of fresh white stuff on the ground. No surprise, really—we were 7,798 feet above sea level. (For comparison, Kalispell’s only 3,084.)

The weather stayed unpredictable the whole time. At camp, it was cold. As we drove, it changed from sun to wind to clouds and back again. Yellowstone has more elevations and microclimates than I could keep track of. Every corner seemed to come with a new sky.

But the best lesson I learned? Bears are the most inconsiderate animals on the planet. Yellowstone is full of big, wide-open fields—plenty of space for a bear to wander peacefully without causing chaos. But nooo… these furry troublemakers prefer cliffside corners where traffic is tight.

Once one gets spotted, the “Bear Jam” begins. One car pulls off. Then another. Next thing you know, there’s a pile-up of humans and tripods, all pointed in one direction like paparazzi at a Hollywood premiere. I’m convinced the bears have meetings about this.

Bear One: “Hey, someone just saw us. Showtime!”
Bear Two: “I’m starving. Let’s just eat and see how long it takes them to move on.”

You want to find a bear in Yellowstone? Forget the maps. Just look for the traffic jam and the telephoto lenses sticking out of car windows.

And it’s not just the bears. We saw a moose cause a slowdown. A moose! Don’t even get me started on the bison. By Day Two, I was over it. “Oh look, another 2,000-pound hairy roadblock. Yawn.”

Our last night was spent outside the park, tucked beside another beautiful creek. That spot cost us just a few bucks—a bargain compared to the $140-a-night inside the park. Rick went off treasure hunting (that man never stops searching for the next big find), and I stayed behind in the trailer, all cozy with a book and a movie on my phone. Not a bad way to wrap up a wild ride.

📸 Over two days, we drove over 400 miles inside the park. Yep—just the way we like it. But I’ll admit, by the time we headed home, I was all “scenicked” out.

Animal Count:

• 12 Grizzly Bears

• 1 Black Bear

• 1 Moose

• A bazillion bison (give or take)

• Some antelope

• A whole bunch of Canadians… the goose kind

• A few elk in the park, way more outside the park

We made it home just as the Memorial Day crowd was pulling in. It pays to be retired.

👋 Till next time.

Pull up a chair. I’ve got a story.

🪵 Wanda-ism:
“Camping is just regular life—only with more wildlife, fewer outlets, and way better coffee if you do it right.”

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