Why Teenagers Shouldn’t Be Trusted Near Fire and Beer

Just a normal night at the sandpit… until someone got a little too bold.

🔥 Why Teenagers Shouldn’t Be Trusted Near Fire (or Beer)

After talking to all kinds of people over the years, I’ve come to a bold (and totally unscientific) conclusion: all teenagers drink alcohol.

Now, deep down, I know that’s not actually true—but when I think about my own wild partying days, it sure feels like it is.

🍻 Certified Party Professionals

Let’s be honest: my brothers, our friends, and I weren’t just dabbling in weekend parties—we were practically professionals.

One memory that always bubbles to the top is the massive kegger we threw for my little brother Bud’s birthday. None of us were old enough to legally drink, and Bud definitely wasn’t. But there we were, in full party mode, like we didn’t have a care in the world.

Looking back now, I’m more than a little relieved we managed to survive those years without ending up in a car wreck or worse.

🏕 The Bonfire Night We’ll Never Forget

One particular kegger is burned into my brain—figuratively and almost literally.

It took place in this sandy stretch of land behind our house. The kind of spot teenagers think is perfect for bonfires, secrets, and just enough bad decisions to keep life interesting.

We circled around the fire, laughing, flirting, sneaking off into the dark for some innocent smooching or “exploring.”
(Not that I know anything about that, of course. 😉)

😳 A Headlight Halftime Show

It was the early ’70s, and streaking was becoming a thing. Bold, ridiculous, and totally teenage.

On this one unforgettable night, someone in our group decided to take it to the next level. Word spread like wildfire—
"He’s doin’ it! He’s really gonna streak!"

Suddenly, every teenager with a car flipped on their headlights like we were preparing for a halftime show. And there he was—tearing off into the woods, peeling off his clothes like it was just another Tuesday.

🔥 The Flaming Leap of Questionable Glory

Then it happened.

Out of nowhere, he came sprinting back from the trees, stark naked and running like a man possessed.

And then he jumped over the bonfire.
Yep. Flaming logs and all.

Even in our beer-fueled state, we knew it was a colossally dumb idea. But that’s the thing about being a teenager: you think you're bulletproof.
You think leaping over a fire in your birthday suit will make you legendary.

And… well, I guess it kinda did.

😂 Legendary, Reckless, and Very, Very Human

Looking back, I laugh until my stomach hurts. We were wild, reckless, and completely full of ourselves—but we were also just trying to figure out who we were.

One keg, one kiss, and one flaming leap at a time.

💬 Wanda-ism:“Every generation has its streakers, keggers, and bonfire jumpers—thank God most of us live long enough to laugh about it.”